My hallway just stepped out of a scene from a Korean horror movie.
They say if you love something, let it go and if it comes back to you then it was meant to be and if not then it was never yours.
Fuck that shit.
If you love something, don’t ever let go of it and remind it/her/him/them of it every single day. Don’t listen to that bullshit saying.
Let’s do something different tonight, guys.
It’s Monday. It’s the start of the week and for many of you you’ve just finished your work day. Now if you’re someone like me then all you want to do is go nap/sleep/close your eyes for 2 hours - a prequel to your sleep tonight. But let’s join forces and do something differently tonight. The weekend is merely 4 work days away. That’s right, so don’t be miserable. Instead I want you to call someone up you want to hang out with (or don’t) and say, “Hey, cunt! Long time no see, let’s go out and _____”
That’s right. Simple right? Just go and do something fun and unexpected. Maybe catch that movie you’ve been wanting to see, go play a game of Monopoly, go have sex (if they’re that type of friend or even better, you want them to be!), go jog, go to a coffee shop and play 20 questions, go tag the side of a building, or if you’re next-level into this idea and have that “fuck work the next day” mentality then go to the airport, buy the cheapest red-eye ticket you can get and fuck off with your friend for a day.
There you have it. I challenge you to do something crazy and unexpected with your night tonight. Or not. Whatever I’m gonna go eat this delicious red-velvet cupcake right now anyway so I’m good.
At work on the 5th floor of my building is a completely deserted and perfectly maintained bathroom, or as I like to call it, the “executive bathroom”. I love coming here and doing my business because 1) I can do my business in peace 2) it’s always immaculately clean.
Today I happily take the stairs to the 5th floor (because I don’t exercise anymore so this is my way of contributing something positive to my body, no matter how small and probably insignificant it is) and I go to happily relieve myself in peace and quiet when I walk in on this…
I don’t know what upsets me more, the fact some invalid destroyed my den of bliss or the way he destroyed it. I mean seriously, let’s throw away our reflexive “eww why am I looking at a toilet with liquid waste plastered everywhere” response anddissect this scientifically or at the very least, logically:
A human being walked in here, took out his phallic waste hose and started peeing violentally all over the seat, the bowl, and even on the ground. When they were finished they took a whole bunch of toilet paper to do what with, throw in as ironic piece of artistic commentary, “yes I urinated everywhere then decided to show that I COULD HAVE CLEANED but meh”.
Ladies (yes I’ve been in ladies washrooms before and you females are just as filthy as us men) and gentlemen, please for the love of God/Allah/Buddha/(insert pagan item of worship)/yourself/humanity don’t leave a mess like this. You are not a half-retarded animal. You are a, hopefully, fully functioning human life form and this is NOT ACCEPTABLE. If you don’t believe in any of the above mentioned reasons then do it for BASIC respect. Don’t be that jackass who has a tumblr post written about them by a guy who’s sitting in the stall beside their area of disaster cursing at them while breathing through their nose cause, goddamn, it smells like rotten asparagus up in this bitch right now.